That swagger

Our last clinical interviewing session was today. For the last two sessions, we asked both of our facilitators to act as interviewer, so we could get a sense of how “real” doctors approach them. Of course, as was the case with all the previous scenarios, these were not easy. Not surprisingly though (well surprising with Dr. N - remember him??) they did really well. They were sympathetic, they got to the issues at hand, they knew what to say and most importantly – they were in control of the conversation the entire time. Yes, they allowed the patient to speak and were very calm & empathetic with them but there was always the feeling that doctor was in charge. No cowering, no timidity. Just straightforward and confident in themselves and where they wanted the interview to go. It was just this sense of, I don’t know how exactly to word this, but that “doctory” feeling. Not cockiness, but definitely a demeanour that conveys authority, know-how, knowledge and just someone you could trust. Sigh…something I aspire to....

Which brings me to my other point, as today we also got our evaluations. As I went in, I knew that I had done my best but that not all my interviews had gone so well. Uh, HIV test guy? Talk about flustered. Anyhow, the facilitators said that I had done fairly reasonably. They said that my first interview had gone very well, but that the second was, well, “problematic” (no duh, I timed out 7 times!!). Oh don’t cry for me Argentina! They did give me some sage advice though. Dr. E espically said that she knew it was a difficult interview for me, but that she was glad that I got that interview because I probably learned/gained the most out of all my colleagues. She told me to not let my timidness/shyness get in the way of whatever I want to do, because I already had “the tools,” as she put it. So just go and be confident in my own abilities because I was capable of doing it. They then remarked that I should learn to be more dispassionate, and learn to distance myself more. I think this was because I was taking these situations too much to heart so I was trying to fix too many things all at once. They reminded that “the patient is the one with the disease” (thank you House of God!) I took this as, yes, it is our job as physicians to provide the best care possible to our patients, and give them all the information they need to make an informed decision. However, in the end it is the patient’s decision, even if this goes against our own beliefs & wishes. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, there’s nothing more that can be done. Doctors are human too.