ZZzzzzzzzz

2 hour nap... sign of no upcoming assignments/midterms/presentations, etc, etc for 3.5 weeks

Ah the life of an unstressed med student... Alll right...

5 more weeks to go till 25% (unlicensed) MD! Woot!

That swagger

Our last clinical interviewing session was today. For the last two sessions, we asked both of our facilitators to act as interviewer, so we could get a sense of how “real” doctors approach them. Of course, as was the case with all the previous scenarios, these were not easy. Not surprisingly though (well surprising with Dr. N - remember him??) they did really well. They were sympathetic, they got to the issues at hand, they knew what to say and most importantly – they were in control of the conversation the entire time. Yes, they allowed the patient to speak and were very calm & empathetic with them but there was always the feeling that doctor was in charge. No cowering, no timidity. Just straightforward and confident in themselves and where they wanted the interview to go. It was just this sense of, I don’t know how exactly to word this, but that “doctory” feeling. Not cockiness, but definitely a demeanour that conveys authority, know-how, knowledge and just someone you could trust. Sigh…something I aspire to....

Which brings me to my other point, as today we also got our evaluations. As I went in, I knew that I had done my best but that not all my interviews had gone so well. Uh, HIV test guy? Talk about flustered. Anyhow, the facilitators said that I had done fairly reasonably. They said that my first interview had gone very well, but that the second was, well, “problematic” (no duh, I timed out 7 times!!). Oh don’t cry for me Argentina! They did give me some sage advice though. Dr. E espically said that she knew it was a difficult interview for me, but that she was glad that I got that interview because I probably learned/gained the most out of all my colleagues. She told me to not let my timidness/shyness get in the way of whatever I want to do, because I already had “the tools,” as she put it. So just go and be confident in my own abilities because I was capable of doing it. They then remarked that I should learn to be more dispassionate, and learn to distance myself more. I think this was because I was taking these situations too much to heart so I was trying to fix too many things all at once. They reminded that “the patient is the one with the disease” (thank you House of God!) I took this as, yes, it is our job as physicians to provide the best care possible to our patients, and give them all the information they need to make an informed decision. However, in the end it is the patient’s decision, even if this goes against our own beliefs & wishes. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, there’s nothing more that can be done. Doctors are human too.

TV, a med student's BFF

First off, yay for blood midterm being done!! Boo for half the questions being about lymphomas. I don’t like lymphomas. They don't like me either. But yay again for this being the last midterm of 1st year med! Woohoo, two more months till 25% (unlicensed) MD!!!

As to how I actually studied for this midterm, well the last two posts are a testament to what actually happened. Let’s take yesterday (aka night before exam) for example.

11 AM: Eat brunch, hmm what’s on? Ooo Martha Stewart. Oh cool, it’s take your kids to work day! And they’re making zucchini fritters? I wonder if zucchini has folate in it? Wouldn’t want those kids getting megaloblastic anemia and all…



12 PM – 3PM: Trying to review notes on coagulation cascade. Note to self, Food Network and studying do not mix. Wow, is that guy making a mash potato/meatloaf cake? Mmmm beef, tasty plus a good source of iron. Prevention of microcytic anemia! BONUS!


3PM: General Hospital time. Hey look, those guys are using the same stethoscope that I have! Dang, that Dr. Drake is hot.


4 PM – 7PM: More attempted studying. TTP, HUS, ITP, HIT, TRALI, TACO!!! Abbreviation overload!!! Oooo TACOs! Dinner time…

7PM: Wow, ER’s on at a special time! Hey that patient has lymphadenopathy of his posterior cervical chain. No Abby, it’s not just a cyst. Posterior lymph nodes = bad (cue ominous music). Omigod, he just found out he had cancer! What’s that? Lymphoma?? Leukemia (argh stupid new doctor, can’t understand his accent)? I knew it! Overinflated sense of my own diagnostic skills! What's that?? Brachial plexus injury? Yea! I know what this is! We’re on a roll here, and we didn’t even have to turn the page!

8 PM: Raptors b-ball! Break time for Stuff!

9PM: Grey’s Anatomy’s back!! Oh thank goodness Izzie and George are no longer together. Wow, that guy got bitten by a bear. Eww…intestines…glad I ate already. Hmm, would they be using frozen plasma here or RBCs? I’m going with RBC transfusions, that guy’s gonna need a whole lotta blood.

10:30 PM: More basketball. Hey T-Mac’s got this thing on that looks like the cath lab leads! (silly giggling ensues)

1 AM: Sleep time!!

So there you have it. Stuff’s guide to studying in med school. Now excuse me now, I gotta go catch my shows.

How can you mend a broken heart?

GAH!!! Lost again! 103-104...

Bosh is sad. I'm sad. I'm also mad. And now I'm more sad & mad because studying must resume.

[Note: The coagulation pathway is not too happy with me right now. I think they felt betrayed and cheated on in this whole process. Oh RBCs, if only you had more oxygen-carrying capacity. Maybe Bosh's last shot would have went in with his increased ATP production]

Kryptonite

What's the one weakness that can get a Type-A, normally super paranoid and otherwise good little medical student stop her cramming for a hematology exam that's this, yes that's right, this Friday ??!?!

NBA Playoffs BABY!!

Let's Go RAPTORS!!!

We can de-plane Superman!

C'mon Bosh.... Be aggressive, be, be aggressive!!!!!!

Note: The coagulation cascade may have been injured in the making of this post.. it's not the medical student's fault that the Raps are not listening to her, and are NOT DRIVING THE BALL!!!! Oh snap

Career choices

Tuesday was career night. Yes, yes I know this is a few days after the fact. But I didn’t have time to post. Blood and onc is slowly and painfully destroying me. One more week to go. Pray that I’ll survive till then.

Anywayz, back to what I was saying. Tuesday was career night at the hospital. It was a talk with the post-graduate director about the whole CARMs-residency matching process. Then some fourth year students and 1st year residents came in to talk about their experiences as well as electives that they did. Lotsa info, lotsa stuff I didn’t know. Sort of freaked me out. For example, apparently in order to become a doctor, it’s not as simple as graduating from med school. Firstly, you must get into a residency training program. Then before you go, you need to write not one but two licensing exams. Then you need to finish residency, write another set of exams to get I guess your ‘real’ license. Then you need to apply for malpractice insurance and go into ‘independent’ practice. Pfeww. Who knew it was so complicated. Who ever said getting in was the hardest part must not have gone to this talk.

After this we were let loose to visit various booths with all the different programs that had first year residency programs – internal med, opthamology, emergency med, general surgery, and many more… Cramberry, another friend of ours and I walked around together and visited some of the booths we were interested in. Well what they were interested in, because I was just the tag-along, who didn’t really have any questions, and just nodded my head using my “serious” face (i.e. slight furrowing of brow while nodding fervently up & down) to make people think I know what they’re talking about when in fact I have no clue, and am probably thinking about dinner.

It was interesting to see the different characters in the different specialities:

- Pathology was very nice but nobody was visiting their booth. I felt sorry for them, so I took one of their pamphlets.

- Neurosurgery guy was slickly dressed but seemed really cocky. Every time I saw him, he was on his cell.

- Nuclear medicine was a very odd collection of characters. One guy was HUGE! Like 6 feet cubed, literally. Another one looked extremely eccentric. He had these round spectacles, and white hair that came halfway down his back. Modern day Dumbledore?? The last guy was the most “normal” looking but even then he had a major unibrow. I couldn’t look him in the eye, for fear of laughing.

- Emergency medicine guys were good-looking and young but seemed like pranksters. At the end of the night, when general surgery had left, I saw them taping stuff on the gen surg poster and then taking a pic with it. Suspicious…

- Cardiothoracic surgery guy was hot. Like super hot. I didn’t talk to him. I just ogled at his hotness.

- Internal med girl was most normal. But she seemed tired. Very tired.

There were a lot more booths, but we couldn’t visit them all. All in all a good night. Overwhelming but informative. And for me at least, very entertaining. Alas, I regret not talking to cardio guy. (fans herself over his hotness)

Princess for a day

There are some days when I’m honestly blown away by my class, and feel proud & extremely honoured to be part of it.

In our school, each medical school class has its own charity/charities that they choose to support for the year or for all four years. During the beginning of this year, our class voted that our class charities would be the ‘Make a Wish Foundation’ and ‘Sleeping Children Around the World’ for the next four years. Throughout the year we’ve been holding various fundraisers like bake sales, dances, night outs, etc, etc to raise money for them. And about a month or two ago we learned that for the ‘Make a wish foundation’ we would be ‘adopting’ a little girl who had cancer. Her wish was to go to Disney World, and it was our job to help her get there.

I guess both as a way for us to meet her, and for her to have a nice, special day for her & her family, a princess party for was planned for today. The whole class was told to dress up in costumes as princesses/princes or whatever Disney character we wanted to be. So yesterday one of our friends (I’ll call her Doodles) and I went shopping to get/make ourselves some costumes. In the end, after some major dollar-store shopping and some craftiness & engineering (that I’m ridiculously proud of) on my part we came up with some sweet costumes. I was Minnie Mouse. Truffles was a fobtastic princess. Cramberry was a bunny (stemming from the fact she LOVES them). And Doodles was Lilo from Lilo & Stitch. It was cute. And very fun. So today I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I didn’t know how this party would turn out. But as I walked into the class, I was amazed. Our whole classroom was decked out with balloons, streamers, an amazing magical castle complete with magical “burning” fire, and even a cool ‘river’ running across the floor. And the costumes! Wow. Many people had some incredible costumes on. From wizards, princesses, princes, and fairies to a ladybug, a bumble bee and even a unicorn with shades, they were all there. Of course, Mickey and Minnie were there too. It was awesome.

We had our 2 lectures for the day, and luckily the prof let us end early (actually I think the 1st prof thought he was in the wrong place). The people who were running the party told us that “Rosie” and here family were here, and that they were excited but nervous. They brought her in, and what followed was pretty amazing. Basically our class created a whole princess adventure for Rosie and her sister to go on, where they had various tasks to complete so that they could save the princesses from the ladybug and bumble bee. It was a fairytale come to life, and of course it ended with a happily ever after. The two little girls had so much fun.

After that Rosie’s mother spoke to us about their family, and what Rosie’s been through. She spoke about her treatments and how strong she is, despite the fact she’s still undergoing chemo. She then thanked us and reminded us to always think of our patients and who they were as people.

Today was an incredible day. I was so proud of our class to have been able to put this all together. To be able to sit in that classroom today so out of the “medical” realm, but all the while knowing that this too was so important, so relevant. As doctors, we often forget what it’s like to be a patient. We see the disease, the symptoms and signs. But we often forget that our patients are people too. They have emotions, and feelings and families that go beyond their condition. And as corny as it sounds, and I know we all laugh at how much we hate FIFEing, it’s actually important. That’s something I hope we never forget. But looking around today, with everyone in their crowns/ears/tiaras/hats, and knowing that these will be the future doctors of tomorrow, I think our class won’t have a problem.

Leap of faith

Today was my fourth and final interview for the clnical interviewing sessions. I was nervous (in case you haven't noticed yet, but I’m often nervous – try always) and worried about what they would throw at us today. I know these are standardized patients, but in some ways that’s worse. Because they have this weird script/scenario they’ll go through depending on what you say and how you say it. So it can go REALLY well or REALLY bad. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew to expect something difficult. For the past couple weeks, we’ve had to deal with angry patients, breaking bad news, the patient who comes onto you, the crying patient, etc, etc. I was wracking my brain to see what other scenario they would give me. I knew I didn’t want the angry patient [because I am a pushover and I will cower if you yell at me] but then again, any of the scenarios would probably be equally as hard. So I was nervous…very nervous going into it. And let me tell you, boy did I have right to be. They really threw a whopper at me:

Truffles if you’re reading this, STOP… SPOILERS for your interview onThursday! Don’t be tempted!!!!

Stuff
“Hi Mr. X. So what brings you in today”
Mr. X
"I want an HIV test"
Stuff to self
Oh crap
Stuff
“Okaay…Time out"

During our interview sessions we’re allowed to ‘time-out’ or basically stop the interview and regroup or get advice from the rest of the group. It sort of allows you to gather your thoughts, or to take a pause when you’re really stuck. They’re usually not used that often, maybe once or max twice per interview. As for me today, let’s just say I think I’ve maxed out on my ‘time-out’ quota for the next two years. Anywho, the interview’s going along and I’m getting by I guess, struggling along with the conversation, and desperately running out of questions to ask the guy:

Stuff
"So, you said that you need this test because you had an affair…can you tell me a little more about that?"
Mr. X
"Yeah, well I met this man at Mcdonalds [WTF?!?!] and yeah I was attracted to him, and so we had an affair."
Stuff
"Uh-huh. And have you had an affair with anyone since then."
Mr. X
"No"
Stuff
"Okaay… Ummmmm….. [long pause] So tell me a little about your living arrangement."
Mr. X
"Well, I live with my wife"
Stuff
[very hesistant now]
"Okaay"
Mr. X
"And we’re trying to have a baby"
Stuff
Oh crap [long pause] "Uhh-huuuh..."
Mr. X
"And she’s Catholic so we can’t use protection"
Stuff
I'm dreaming right?
[huge pause]
"I see."

So somehow I managed to get through the interview, extremely awkwardly and again, making the most of my ‘time-out’ usage. At one point, he asked me if he had to tell his wife if the test came back positive, and I said time out so fast I don’t think the guy even had time to finish his sentence. Poor man. At least I tried my best to sound caring and non-judgemental. That was my saving point. Because otherwise he would not have told me anything, and the SP actually said he would have left! Yikes! So yay for finishing clinical interviewing. And I totally agree with our facilitator that this was a good experience. She said, which I think is very wise that “it’s really easy to stay back and let someone else do something that you’re really uncomfortable with, but if you do it yourself, you’ll get more out of it than you can imagine.” So there you go people, face your fears! Pet that spider! Go skydiving! Or if you’re like me, go and volunteer to do that interview with that patient about their private business, because in the end…you’ll be the better for it.

When it rains, it pours

I went home yesterday because I had a doctor’s appointment today at the hospital. Anyways, another revelation is that being a medical student has its perks. Basically, I got to do a mini-observership while I was there. The attending doc showed me this fancy high-tech ultrasound thing that tests for liver damage. It was pretty amazing because it’s the only one in the entire country! Yeesh, I might be the only med student to have seen this thing thus far. Craziness. He also gave me a mini-lecture on some other stuff which was pretty cool, and he showed me some nice percussing techniques (essentially knocking on patient’s chest/stomach to listen for differences in sound quality – it’s pretty much an art to determine what’s normal or not). Pretty sweet, considering I went in as a patient, but came out learning some new stuff. Yay for day not wasted!

Anyhow, my appointment was actually at the hospital I work at in the summer. So I was slightly weary about seeing my boss or any of the attendings from the unit. I didn’t want to explain why I was there, or introduce them to my mom, or have them see me because maybe someone had a tiny crush on one of the docs there (yea, yea story of my life) etc, etc. So my mother and I were waiting for the shuttle bus to take us back, and well, let’s just say life likes to play tricks with you:

Stuff’s Mom
“So how come you’re not hiding your face anymore? Aren’t you scared you’ll see Dr. BossMan?”
Stuff
“No, no… Dr. BossMan never takes the shuttle. He always drives to the other hospital.”
Stuff’s Mom
“Drive? Weird.”
Stuff
“Yeah, I dunno.
[bus arrives so Stuff & Mom get on bus]
Stuff
[happily sitting when suddenly spots Dr. Charming]
“Gah!”
Stuff’s Mom
“What?”
Stuff
“It’s Dr. Charming. OMG, he’s getting onto the bus. Hide me, hide me.”
Stuff’s Mom
“Uh, oookaaaay. Which one is he?”
Stuff
[hiding face in shame]
“Don’t look!”
Dr. Charming
[sits directly BEHIND Stuff ]
Stuff to self
[teeth clenched in terror]

Awkward…

Yes, so I managed to not make eye contact or have him notice me. Or maybe could it be, that he's already forgotten me?? (puppy eyes start watering, and slight whimpering sound can be heard)

So after all this I had to catch my train back to school. Problem, I was late. Very late. Like the train was actually going to pull away from the platform when I just managed to make it. I was running. No, correction I was sprinting like I was in the 100-m dash. That’s one way to become tachycardic.

On the plus side, I managed to get myself a new pair of running shoes today to replace my sad dilapidated ones. They lived a good life.

Stand up, speak out

Sorry about the lack of updates lately. Nothing really exciting has been happening, other than blood & onc lectures, and we all know how riveting those are.

We came to our half-way point for our clinical interviewing sessions yesterday. I was slightly nervous going into it because the previous week we had emailed the course coordinator about one of our facilitators. You see, we were having some "issues" with this one person. That person (who shall be now be known as Dr. N) had this problem of speaking much too often and too long about...well...nothing. Like literally, he would have these 20 minute soliloquies on a subject that had nothing to do with anything anyone was talking about. And to make things worse, it made no sense whatsoever seeing as he used giganto words nobody has ever heard of.

Dr. N

"...blah, blah, blah...consequently, the corollary of aforementioned haematuria manifests itself as intolerance directed towards...blah, blah, blah..."

Stuff to self

[doodling ECG axis]

What is going on here? I didn't know Shakespeare was still alive.

Rest of Stuff's group

[looking dazed and lost]

Wha?

Another thing was that he was always talking about how he counsels patients on dialysis, etc, etc. I mean, that's fine, tell us about your job. But don't tell the same story every week man! Especially when we're talking about, I don't know, birth control? Blood Tranfusions? Common cold? Like, seriously? But the worse thing was that he often said some very offensive and discriminatory statements. So as a group, we went to the course coordinator to give some constructive criticism. She said she would speak to him. So you can see why I would be a little apprehensive going in yesterday. How would Dr. N react? Did we just commit academic suicide? Luckily, it seemed to go over well. Dr. N asked us if there were any changes we wanted to make, and we basically said we wanted it to be interactive, and for there to be more opportunities for us to speak. Lo and behold, it worked! It was the best session we had so far. Another example that speaking up when you think something is wrong or should be changed is really important.

On another note, Truffles has gone on a trip for a research conference far, far away. It's all very grown-up. If you're reading this Truffles, we missed you in class today! Good luck with your presentation, you'll do great. And don't worry, I didn't fall asleep in class today! Woohoo! I took some very extensive notes for you. And cramberry tried to tape the lecture but the doc was speaking very softly, so I'm not sure it'll record very well (it was AAA guy). See you next week. You better come back tanned, haha.

Blast from the past

Today was side-ponytail/side parts and socks & sandals day at school. It was for our class fundraising. I had my little demure low ponytail slightly pulled to the side in the morning. But lo and behold, I walk out into my building lobby and there were some of my classmates dressed head to toe with quirky high ponytails straight out of the 80s, and guys with their hair gelled and perfectly parted down the side. They looked like they were out of some weird forties/fifties movie. Oh, and don’t forget the knee high socks and Birkenstocks.






Okay, so maybe it was more ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ but who’s keeping track? Of course I had to fix mine and make it more…ahem…dramatic. I think we scared some of the non-meddies at the bus stop. Like who are all these weirdos with the green backpacks and crazy outfits. HAHA, good times.

I think we should make this a tradition. Like literally I think we should still do it even when we’re all attendings and ALL-POWERFUL. We’ll all show up in whatever hospital/clinic we’re working at with these hairdos and outfits, and scare our residents and students. Yeah, they’ll think what the heck is going on, and then we’ll casually mention didn’t they get the memo on the new dress-code? And of course they’ll run away in circles and scurry around to try to please us. And then we’ll stand back and laugh at them. Because did I mention, attendings OWN you?? Oh, future residents and underlings of Dr. Stuff, I feel sorry for you. I’m an evil, evil girl… [devious cackling in the background]

Stupid quote of the day:
Stuff
[Talking about suturing and doing anything remotely involving the hands]
“Yeah, so I’m not too good with this medicine stuff”

Truffles
[look of shock and slight terror]
“Okkkaaay…”

What not to wear

Last day of interview weekend. Phew…it’s been a long week. I’m pretty exhausted with welcoming people. I feel that I’ve given the same schpeel 100 times over and over again while grinning like the Cheshire cat. I hope I didn’t scare the interviewees with my slightly deranged look. Don’t mind my over-enthusiasm, I’m just trying to sell my school. Cuz you know, we rock and all. But now my mouth kind of hurts. You know you’re not a real people-person when socializing wears you out. Anywho, good luck to all and we’ll be seeing a lot of you next year!

So at the end of the day, cramberry and I were getting ready to go home, because it is nap-time for us (you see what I mean when I say I’m 5 years old?) and I had changed into my Ugg boots as my feet were killing me (flats are deceivingly uncomfortable after 5 hours… and save me the lecture on Uggs. They’re for practical purposes here people, not fashion. I live in a snow belt area and these are seriously the most comfortable pairs of shoes you’ll ever own especially in 10 feet of snow!). So we’re on our way out, but we saw one of our classmates from undergrad. Being friendly and nice, we stopped to talk with her for awhile. Anyway, there were some parents of an interviewee sitting close to us there, and this one lady kept staring at me and my boots. Like literally, she did the whole once-over and had this disgusted look on her face like she smelled rotting fish. Whoa it was bad. She then proceeded to turn to her husband and whispered something to him, making him stare at me while they muttered who knows what unflattering things. Gosh, I didn’t know my outfit was so offensive. Yeah, okay I was wearing a work-type skirt with Uggs, but that’s not what I had on throughout the day people! I had cute flats! But, yeesh, my feet wuz hurting bad. Cut me some slack. You can’t be a slave to fashion 24/7. Being a fashion-plate is hard work man. At least I was in black and white…not like this poor girl who sort of resembles a watermelon.

Jealousy and ambition

Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals. ~ Buddha

Today was interview weekend again. Lots of interviewees, some more confident than others. I also saw some students from my old undergrad program. Yay for reprezentin…

Yeah, so a couple of us were having a conversation about what we wanted to get into for residency (i.e. when we become real MDs). Some weren’t too sure, and pretty open to anything. Others on the other hand were super-keeners and knew exactly what residency program they wanted and how they were going to get there. They have their 10-year plans all laid out. There’s this one person, for example, who has made it so far as to identify all the higher-ups/important persons for their desired program at our school, introduced themselves to said big cheeses, and has even lined up a research position with the residency director of the program. They also know who their competition is, and will be very happy to tell any new persons who are considering their program why they shouldn’t even think about it. Wow. This person scares me, puts me to shame, makes me hate them and be impressed & admire them all at the same time. Granted these are super competitive programs, with maybe less than 10 spots in the entire country so it’s kind of understandable that they have these strategies in place. But at the same time, it makes me wonder whether they’re putting all their eggs in one basket. I mean, how can you be sure, really, really sure that this is what you want when you haven’t really done it right?

I on the other hand have a general idea on my residency goals. I like a lot of things, but I’m really intrigued by critical care medicine and cardiology. But who knows? Things can change a lot in four years. Maybe I’ll hate it once I really get into it. I asked my facilitator about this once, and he said not to worry too much about it. It’s too early, and you won’t really get your feet wet until clerkship (3rd year). Ah, how wise he is.

At the same time, this kind of talk also makes me wonder at my own abilities. Honestly, I think I’m an okay student. Well actually, I'm pretty sure I’m a pretty good student. Not the TOP but certainly above average, in spite of the impression I give off. I mean when it comes down to it, I do know my stuff (hmmm... this may be debatable but work with me here). But these super ambitious classmates of mine make me wonder if I had worked harder, not watched that TV show or slept in for those extra 15 minutes, how much difference would it make? Life is strange. One day, you’re on top of the world, full of confidence and belief in yourself and your abilities. The next, you’re full of self-doubt and uncertainty in everything you do. I don’t know. GAH! Then again:

“No TV and no beer make Homer something, something”
“Go Crazy?”
“Don’t mind if I do!”

[See how serious & introspective blood & onc makes you? Yeesh...I feel like I should be wearing a beret and discussing Proust somewhere in a Parisian café]

Dressed To Impress

In honour of our class' clothing sale, I thought I'd give some ideas for future logos/designs:






Because I am a nerd.

Robbed!

The clock started early!

The clock started early!

TJ you wuz robbed!

We wuz robbed!

[Sorry, but right now b-ball >>>> blood & onc]