Monkey See, Monkey Do

In clerkship, you rotate through lots of different services and specialties. You spend an insane amount of time with the residents on that service. It can be a stressful situation, and you really do need to work as a team in order for things to work well and efficiently. So I guess, it’s not a surprise and sort of expected that residents on the same service will share certain idiosyncrasies.

For example, during my 12 weeks on surgery, I noticed that many of the residents loved to use the word ‘perfect.’ No matter what the situation, they always used ‘perfect’:

Gen Surg Senior
Mr. X, have you pooped yet today?
Patient X
Oh yes, doctor
Gen Surg senior
Perfect

Hot Senior
[during morning rounds]
I’m going to take off the dressing now. It’s gonna hurt
[rips off bandages]
Patient
[Screams in pain]
Hot senior
Perfect

Hot senior
[in OR]
Stuff you’re going to suture up that wound okay?
Stuff
[After 20 extremely long minutes of suturing up a 5 cm wound, says triumphantly]
Finished!
Hot senior
Perfect!

Another observation? Surgeons walk fast. Really fast. And they always seem to be walking like they need to get somewhere very important. And when and if they actually go somewhere important, they seem to storm into a place like they own it. On one of my first days on Vascular, when I was basically being my other senior’s second shadow, we were going down somewhere – I don’t even remember it being that important, perhaps for a coffee run? Anyway, we were trying to get out of the elevator but it was super packed with people. I had to push my way out while he had already forged ahead. Partly owing to the fact that the guy had an unfair advantage in the leg length department (6 ft tall versus 5ft 4) it was not a surprise that he was quite a bit ahead of me. So I started to run after him, not wanting to be left behind. I guess he noticed me not glued to his side, so he turns to wait and sees my clumsy running. When I finally catch up, he gives me my first piece of surgery advice:

"Stuff, we always walk fast and we walk with purpose. We NEVER run, but we always walk fast. No matter what, got it?"

So what has happened to me after 12 weeks of surgery? I find myself now saying perfect in every possible situation no matter how irrelevant. And I walk fast. Really fast. Surgeon fast. And I do sort of storm into places (with purpose of course). And people always ask, 'Surgery?’ To which I answer confidently, 'Yup!' (except that doesn't quite work anymore seeing as I am on pediatrics).

I hope my pediatrics rotation cures me of these, because at his rate I'll be drinking my coffee black, and making inappropriate comments about everything and everyone, having somehow morphed into a male surgeon.