Learning for life

I think that working at the hospital this summer will be an experience. On the one hand, it's a really intimidating place where you're scared all the time if what you're doing is hurting or hindering the docs & nurses working there. But it's also an amazing opportunity to learn. And I mean really learn, and not just the usual textbook reading & memorizing of random facts like Pseudomonas smells like grapes in culture (yea, that's actually true apparently). You get to see the things you heard about in lectures in REAL-LIFE (again not on a power point slide or a pretend actor) and try to maybe just put it all together. Like today I witnessed the use of adenosine for a SVT, which is probably not the most exciting thing in the world but hey, I'm a girl that's easily satisfied.

But a lot of the things you learn at the hospital just can't be found in books or taught in the classroom. Take yesterday. One of my projects for the summer is to talk to the family of patients. It's an interview that's supposed to take 20 minutes max. But at the interview yesterday, talking to the aunt of the patient took much, much longer. At first she just answered the questions, but as she went on, she began to talk a lot more about her own feelings and what his illness was doing to her. The stress of the situation was evident on her face, and although she talked of keeping a positive attitude, it was clear that she too was suffering. She told us things she hadn't told anyone else. Not even her own family. But in a way, I felt that talking about it was therapeutic for her. And for that, I'm glad that I was there.

Today was also an, I don't know how else to describe it, but I guess 'interesting' experience. I witnessed my first brain-death declaration. The doc went through the entire process including pupil reflexes, caloric reflex test (which involved irrigating the patient's ear with 120cc of water), and apnea testing, etc, etc. I found it fascinating but at the same time difficult to witness. Because there was the patient, lying there, seemingly still alive. You could actually even SEE the heart still beating. Yet they weren't. There was no brain function left. The doctors proceeded with the testing, almost cheerfully it seemed. But I guess they were used to it?? It was a heartbreaking and confusing situation. I had no idea how to feel. I still don't.

But this is what I mean though. Learning this summer is going to take on a completely different meaning.