Leap of faith

Today was my fourth and final interview for the clnical interviewing sessions. I was nervous (in case you haven't noticed yet, but I’m often nervous – try always) and worried about what they would throw at us today. I know these are standardized patients, but in some ways that’s worse. Because they have this weird script/scenario they’ll go through depending on what you say and how you say it. So it can go REALLY well or REALLY bad. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I knew to expect something difficult. For the past couple weeks, we’ve had to deal with angry patients, breaking bad news, the patient who comes onto you, the crying patient, etc, etc. I was wracking my brain to see what other scenario they would give me. I knew I didn’t want the angry patient [because I am a pushover and I will cower if you yell at me] but then again, any of the scenarios would probably be equally as hard. So I was nervous…very nervous going into it. And let me tell you, boy did I have right to be. They really threw a whopper at me:

Truffles if you’re reading this, STOP… SPOILERS for your interview onThursday! Don’t be tempted!!!!

Stuff
“Hi Mr. X. So what brings you in today”
Mr. X
"I want an HIV test"
Stuff to self
Oh crap
Stuff
“Okaay…Time out"

During our interview sessions we’re allowed to ‘time-out’ or basically stop the interview and regroup or get advice from the rest of the group. It sort of allows you to gather your thoughts, or to take a pause when you’re really stuck. They’re usually not used that often, maybe once or max twice per interview. As for me today, let’s just say I think I’ve maxed out on my ‘time-out’ quota for the next two years. Anywho, the interview’s going along and I’m getting by I guess, struggling along with the conversation, and desperately running out of questions to ask the guy:

Stuff
"So, you said that you need this test because you had an affair…can you tell me a little more about that?"
Mr. X
"Yeah, well I met this man at Mcdonalds [WTF?!?!] and yeah I was attracted to him, and so we had an affair."
Stuff
"Uh-huh. And have you had an affair with anyone since then."
Mr. X
"No"
Stuff
"Okaay… Ummmmm….. [long pause] So tell me a little about your living arrangement."
Mr. X
"Well, I live with my wife"
Stuff
[very hesistant now]
"Okaay"
Mr. X
"And we’re trying to have a baby"
Stuff
Oh crap [long pause] "Uhh-huuuh..."
Mr. X
"And she’s Catholic so we can’t use protection"
Stuff
I'm dreaming right?
[huge pause]
"I see."

So somehow I managed to get through the interview, extremely awkwardly and again, making the most of my ‘time-out’ usage. At one point, he asked me if he had to tell his wife if the test came back positive, and I said time out so fast I don’t think the guy even had time to finish his sentence. Poor man. At least I tried my best to sound caring and non-judgemental. That was my saving point. Because otherwise he would not have told me anything, and the SP actually said he would have left! Yikes! So yay for finishing clinical interviewing. And I totally agree with our facilitator that this was a good experience. She said, which I think is very wise that “it’s really easy to stay back and let someone else do something that you’re really uncomfortable with, but if you do it yourself, you’ll get more out of it than you can imagine.” So there you go people, face your fears! Pet that spider! Go skydiving! Or if you’re like me, go and volunteer to do that interview with that patient about their private business, because in the end…you’ll be the better for it.